A Learning Journey

I am having financial crisis. Just paid $400 to power supply bill. $300 is borrowed somemore. I left nothing but just $50 with me....... not getting any pay this week or next week. First time I am so broke since 4 years ago. Broke as in I really have to live on others, borrow here and there, skips meals here and there. I even stop my piano lesson which weigh a certain significance to me. Decided to stop piano for 1 month. Power supply was cut again. Surprisingly I handle it better than the past. More systemically, fast and steady to solve my problem. Thanks Yx, I think I can handle my own problems and not keep relying on others. I realised I can face my own problems instead of escaping. BIG BIG thanks to those who helped me financially. Will return as soon as possible.. I cant reveal who becuz I want to protect from other borrowers.. There are really some irresponbile borrows. JeXXXX Ong! want to spoil his name so much..

I often felt very tied down by my family and deep financial burden, feel like crying at times. BUT! I decided to use smile to face all these. Someone said this to me before, "当剧本变得悲伤消极的时候， 不要跟着剧本走，要以叛逆的态度对待剧本，改变剧情。” I didnt understand this at first but now I guess I understand. I realised when there is a problem, there are many ways to face/see/handle them. Our attitude will affect the outcome of it. I am not trying to be strong, just that, I just wanna tell myself to stay strong, that I can do it. Everyone is facing the same problem.........
tears just roll down but I think I am fine now

I am proud of myself.. haha the least

• I am still positive, looking forward to my grade 8 exam next year March, to see my students every Saturday. I love saturday class, they make me laugh a lot, towards my life. Is not miserable I know, just a little little complicated?Or maybe I should know more people, then I will realise there are others who are worse than me. I am consider very fortunate. Yeah of cuz! I have many positive thinking friends around me! I should be happy and fortunate. Imagine I have friends ask me to take drugs or cut wrist to release stress, OMG I cant imagine.
  
• And I don't grumble or blame anyone. Maybe my sister but people are telling me not to blame her cuz of the her 人生经历 when she was younger. It is kinda different so she will think and react differently. I just hope I was appreciated and not taken granted for.
• grateful to whatever comes to me. Good things I mean.
  

I did a good deed today. ^_^ Helped someone today, make someone realising certain stuff is good. At least I am 'useful' at times. I always have a thought that I am useless,childish. But I think I can help others (not in terms of tuition) but personal affairs.

Looking forward to teach someone Korean! and Friday's gathering! yeah yeah yeah!!! :D